From Shit Comes Flower

Something that I have always found extremely disturbing is when people use the phrase "it is what it is." Definitely my least favorite of phrases, generally speaking. When someone is truly upset, devastated even, do people actually think they'll find comfort in knowing that "it is what it is?" Let me ask you, what exactly is it? Please don't say "it!" If a person who you thought to be trustworthy then lies, cheats, and deceives you, would you really find satisfaction in this nauseating phrase? Self respect and dignity say no! You should say no and if not I'll say it for you because you deserve a better explanation!

Yes, sure in some cases people ‘are what they are’ and you must accept them as so. However, that all narrows down to the fact that people don't change. In my opinion it is never people who change but the situations around them which force certain characteristics to be exposed. Science tells us that a species will respond to environmental changes, this pertains to both physical and emotional behaviors. These "responses" were always there somewhere, swirling about within the soul just waiting for the brain to activate them! No, I'm not talking about any kind of psychological disorders. This is textbook people!

Once again, in order for a person to emit a "new" response there must be a change in the environment and not in the person. I find that situations are completely changeable, however we are the only ones with the power to change them. There are all of these completely ridiculous books out right now that are filled with the notion that if you desire something and “meditate” about it then you'll receive it. While I find all of the nonsense in these books to be complete poppycock, the fundamentals are true.  As I have said before, I am a firm believer that if you wish to be desirable in love or in your career, you need to act confident and wear a smile.

Act confidently even if your acting skills would barely qualify you for a career as a porn star! Force a smile even you have had so many collagen boosts its impossible to show any emotion at all on your face! We live in a democracy for a reason, people, and while I believe that like those books I mentioned before, the government is entirely corrupt, the fundamentals are there! As a very "wise" man once said, "from the horse shit, comes the flower."  You may have to dig a little but the truth is there and if all you can come up with is "it is what it is" you should probably get a bigger shovel!   We have the power to make the changes we wish to see in our lives! Therefore it never ‘is what it is’.... it is what you make it!

xoxo LG

Buzz. Buzz. Buzzed!

I can't help but notice a pattern in the last few relationships that I've had. The biggest theme seems to be alcohol.  NYC... 20s... typical right? Sure there are different activities but they all include alcohol; and seeing as I have absolutely no tolerance that means I'm always drunk. Don't get me wrong, I in no way consider myself an alcoholic.  Possibly because I did the whole college thing where I drank five nights a week.  In fact, during my senior year one of my favorite activities included drinking a gallon of sangria and throwing things off my roof.  Then in my drunken state I would contemplate the physics involved in all of it.  I was terrible with physics but when you're drunk everything seems to make sense. I'm a freak! Tangent! Anyway....

College students really get a free pass when it comes to drinking, but what about after college?   Sure everyone wants to let off some steam on the weekends and get tanked with their friends, but is this a national habit? Now that we are in our 20s and most of our time is spent either in the workplace or at a bar, it seems that almost everyone we date comes from one of the two.  Is this in our best interest?  I guess it depends.

Let's look at our two options: we meet guys in bars when were drunk OR we start a secret, forbidden work affair.  The idea here is that both of these situations are hot!  Drunk hookups are always fun/funny; you're drunk, happy, and every thing's cool.  However, if you make plans to meet again it could possibly be in a sober environment.  Is he still good looking without your beer goggles?  Was he this boring before you're buzz kill? Sure he's gorgeous, but can he even form a sentence?  Now clearly we could be wildly optimistic and say he's perfect and thank god you got wasted and hooked up with him, but is this the kind of story you see yourself telling your kids?  If it's all about fun then go for it!  Probably not the greatest idea if you want something that's going to stick.

On the other hand, everyone knows that we all want what we can't have.  If companies were smarter the policy on office hookups would be a free for all.  This relationship is totally hot but what about when the secrets out?  When those office bees spread the word that you have been taking more than you're bosses calls, will you still want him?  There's just something juicy about secrets.  It doesn't matter if you're a ten year old at a sleepover or a sixty year old lounging at the country club... people feed off of secrets!  Again, this is not a future bedtime story!  Last time I checked, Cinderella and the Prince weren't sneaking in quickies on the other side of the castle while the King and Queen were in a deep slumber.  

Look, fun should definitely be the priority here but we shouldn't lose track of the type of relationship were seeking.  If you're thinking flirty, casual, fun then by all means drink your ass off and wink at the hottest guy in the bar!  Wanna get frisky?  Plan a secret rendezvous in the on-call room, janitors closet, or conference room!  Honestly, you can be a prude in your next life!  However, if your heart is out there and you are looking for the real thing then maybe you need to change it up a bit!  I'm thinking museums, fashion/art/charity events, restaurant openings!  Alcohol is optional but as long as food is involved there's a good chance you'll remember his name in the morning!

xoxo LG

Love Guru

I am a sassy twenty-something female living in New York City.  I adore Coldplay and I think it's amazing when you can connect with an artist through a song.  Amazing!  Science and Relationships... that's what I'm all about.

The thing about love is... well, it's ridiculously complicated, and I've taken Organic Chemistry. Now I'm not one of those people who enjoys sitting around, feeling sorry for herself.  I have chosen to take a completely different approach.  I have replaced tears and cupcakes with laughter and lemon drops.  There was a time that I was quiet and shy but now I carry myself with class, a smile, and a bag of jokes!  It has taken me a long time to get where I am today but I like to think of myself as a continuous work in progress. I believe that we grow with every relationship and every experience. Obviously, no one has all the answers and no one is perfect, but the key is to act like you have it all.  Confidence, friends.  You can win over the world with confidence and a smile.  In this blog I hope to share some of my current thoughts while tracing them back to their origin in my life.  I am a firm believer that you cannot learn from other's mistakes.  Everyone has to learn the do's and don'ts of love on their own.

I have been through my share of relationships, good and bad.  The first love, the crazy man, the possible soulmate, the mother issues, the bad in bed, the addict, the cheater, the alcoholic, the hard worker, the no future, and of course the lights are on but there's no one home but he's hot so it's a toss up. 

I am always the guy in the relationship and at first I figured I just dated pansies but I'm almost positive now that I'm just a tough cookie.  At times I can be very quirky, but that's all a part of my charm.  Many guys have admitted that they wish I wasn't a girl because they would like to take a crack at me.  I'm a girl with a guys perspective on dating, so I say hit me with your best shot! 

Sure at times I may seem cocky, but you aren't snoozing right?  

xoxo LG